Arrrh Mates... (My fellow Pirates)
I had a itch the other day, no not a "I need a hit of some crack" itch or the "I think that b*tch burned me" itch, it was a itch for me to do something. Now some people get their calling and think its tied with the church calling... My calling came in the form of you need to stop some things and concentrate on this one thing. That thing was a blur... It wasn't a dream and it wasn't a vision. It was a voice... Now I'm not crazy, at least I don't think I am but there was this lady's voice shouting me out. It was real soft and pleasant almost like my mother's voice and it was like "Ian Stop." I was like what the f*ck. I turned the TV on mute and stop eating my Captain Crucnch, I even turned out the lights, don't ask (I heard your senses become stronger when you concentrate just on one), and I closed my eyes.
The voice came again but it was in a different form it was a man almost wise and noble... it was like "Ian, you can do it." I was like what the hell? So I left the room and came back and I heard the voices the same. Then there was a third Voice it was like, Laurence Fishburn in Color Purple when he was like "Miss Sophia No..." but instead it was "Ian Anthony No..." I was tripping, I haven't been on any drugs and beer intake from the night before was moderate. So what was going on? I hopped in the shower and went to Bestbuy to get a plug for my ipod. Then I heard the last voice again... "Ian Anthony No..." I'm blown... I look in the Mirror and pimp slap myself, yes I pimp slap my self and go in to the store. I'm thinking I better not pull that crap in here. So I purchase all my stuff and hit the Ave. I get home without any mishaps and turn the idiot box (if seen Bamboozeled, you already know) on. Its one of the Free the Children of Africa commercials and I'm compelled to watch for some odd reason. The man on the tube points at me and "Stop, What your doing...(and I do)... Come to Africa, You can do it... Be apart of the mission and No you don't have to change your lifestyle..." I was like aww sh*t that's what the voices said.
So I tell my mom I need to go to Africa and shes sarcastic as hell and says, "oh when you going and when you coming back..." I told her this is serious and she laughs it off. So I realize she's no help and I call my sister and she tells me you should go... Wait I can't go on with this story, I just wanted to waste your time.... Anyways have a great f*cking day. I ain't crazy you dumbasses. That whole "Miss Sophia No" was brought to you by my older sister when she was ready to whoop a co-worker for interjecting. That was so funny.