Sunday, December 24, 2006

Aren't You In The Christmas Spirit...

"Men Lie, Women Lie, Numbers tell the truth..." Jay Z

Well another Christmas hits me tomorrow and I can honestly say that... I don't know I just felt like saying that... So I went to 4 Christmas Parties last night and no I didn't get pulled over. No Checkpoints where I was traveling either. But I live a life of double "sidedness" I was a bar with the skateboard, punk rock white boys, that pay for everything... Its the rock band I used to manage but they are somewhat defunct... due to lack of how do I say "exposure" They aiight but I ride wit Maroon 5 for life... That's two different ends of music. But they be aiight.... That was actually my second party but the first one was at work... It wasn't a party I just made it that with my excessive drinking my shift drinks....

I must say my tolerance is still high and it took all the way til the 3rd party to be full blown "Troy"- My Alter Ego... So the third party was at the Monday Klub with the Frat and not so frat... There was this girl there that approached me that looked like Elise Neal (Damn... if she caught me early I would have held a conversation)... But she stood there while I offered a shot which she denied but said she wanted a glass of Merlot (I want to say something about that but I'mma... say that shit... She thought she was grown drinking MD 20/20 closest cousin...) that was like bottle shelf Merlot. She poured me a little into my empty shot glass and for some reason I began to stumble around the club asking people for change singing church songs from my child hood and then pointing and yelling at people who didn't put change in my hat... ( now you know that didn't happen but you get the point)

She waits and waits like I was going to pay for her drink.... But I hit her with my OOOO so classic line: " I don't buy girls drinks because I don't want you to think that I trying to get into your pants." She laughed and spit out her booze... I'm a sucker for women with white teeth.... It was of course dark but still they were bright... But she was fine and as usual when I'm approached I'm drunk. I walk away and tell her after she buys her drink to come holler at me... she does and that where the Elise Neal Comment comes up... She cracks up... and then the conversation gets dull... She started talking about her kids... Sorry but I don't babysit anymore cause you know that's what she was looking for... I walk away like I gotta use the bathroom but I just relocate... She sits down... Then picks her next victim in some Cliche 2004-Present Negro. (Could have been frat but them niggas can get clowned to)... He had on the blazer with a button up and loafers and jeans... there were 12 other niggas dressed just like you... But not me... I rocked the pumas jeans and the LRG... I was going for the skateboard look even tho I can't ride.

So I end up leaving then I venture to my last stop the after hours joint which was like 60 miles away. Should have went to Ohio but I only paid for drinks when I was with the black folks (niggas).

So I get there and on my way I'm drunk dialing... so if you got a phone congrats if you didn't you know you wasn't gonna answer. I think I lost a handful of friends but hey fuck em.... I get there and no ones there... I drink and talk shit with the host and then I bounce back on the ave. Of course I wasn't driving, my DD was and shout outs to Outlaw...I make it home and sleep til like 3:00 when I'm awoken by 6 phone calls that I was trying to ignore.

Oh but before this all started I was on my way to class on... Thursday and I usually get a snack from 7-11... I didn't cross the street at the crosswalk but in the middle and there's this Asian mofo ahead of me... I ain't paying him no mind. He starts walking fast (bitch). turns around and says... " You got a fucking problem..." I say chokingly " No motherfucker you got a problem" he keeps on walking and turns again and says it again. " I think he may no karate but you did to" I want to whoop his ass for tough talking but that's all I need to be in jail for the holidays. Now here's the topper.... He walks into my building and I say loud enough " Don't you feel dumb we going to the same place." I go into class... and then get a drink... he tries to apologize and I tell him " You could have handled that differently cause you can get ya ass whooped, stabbed or shot for tough talking in America nowadays....You got that one... but watch yourself... and no I don't accept your apology because your view is beneath me." I walk away... There has been a guy robbing but the way he was dressed he should of robbed me... sorry mofo.... I was in formal hood wear but I'm 6'5 230 and I could see why a 5 foot Asian who probably knows no karate whatsoever would be scared... So "Fuck you very much"

Now enjoy the holiday and check up on ya boi... Merry Christmas...

"I've been searching for a bull that's been crapping around here and I think you know where he's at." ib