"in one way or the other, I'm a bad brother, word to the motherf*cker..." Easy E
Whaddup? For those of you who don't know I am well defined specimen but besides that I own a hotdog cart. That was my means of income for 6 months between July and Novemeber in 2005. That's right I owned a cart. Don't Hate! There were a lot of characters that came by and there were a lot of people who'd give dumba*s advice. So I picked 2 stories that I want to share with you now.
No Pets Please:
Story #1 :
I was located by the hospital, right across the street as suggestion from my mother due to lack of food vendors in the area. The cafeteria was really the only place to go and the food was to expensive. So oppourtunity is the first thing a business man has to recognize and capitolize on that. So I got my spot and made decent money.
There was this paticular day where it was hot as all hell but this older lady strolled up to the cart and she had on a trench coat. A long a*s trench coat that was not necessary for that day. She had a laundry cart that carried a bag and a dog. So she started asking questions being nosey like old white people do and I answer majority of her questions. One of her questions was about what school I went to? I hit her back with Hampton Universtiy and she looks taken back like "what the f*ck" look. And She asks just like this "So your not a highschool drop out?" What in the world does that mean. Why I got to be all that? So I say nah and kind of laugh it off.
She then talks about how people think your a highschool dropout when you drive by. In my mind: Do people have that much time to analyze or over analyze the situation and think that I am highschool dropout? Hell nah! So she goes back and forth asking questions like the cart history and where I'm from and crap like that. She tells me she wants another plain dog with nothing on it and I charge the same for the bunless dog. She then breaks it up and gives it to her dog. She Then pops her trench coat collar puts on some big old cataracts shades and tightens her hat down. Now that neighborhood is worst now then it was then so maybe she was a psychic because she starts talking bout the shooting range and how this neighborhood is going to get worse. She then opens up her trench coat and reveals a 9mm! I thought she turned creepy and was about to pull a Pee Wee Herman but thank God it was a gun. I couldn't have taken old saggy boobies that early in the morning. She starts rambling on how she packs her gun and goes to the range to shoot everyonce in a while.
That was the last thing I thought she would whip out, bootleg dvds, gold watches, sausage links, her boobs, not a gun. She could have capped me and took off wit $200. She could have bussed a cap in my a*s. Crazy
Story #2:
So as usual I'm sitting on my crate waiting for customers and this paticular day some big n*gga rolls up with his pitbull and orders"6 dogs, 4 with out the buns" In my mind: How yo big a*s gonna order more food for the dog than your self? So I charge him the regular and that mofo scarfs down his two and the dog takes his like they was racing. He then orders another one realizing that he was a big n*gga and junk (like 6'6, 330). Enhales that one and I'm like Chris Tucker in Friday on his a*s: DAMN!!! This is like 2 minutes passed and I've seen 7 dogs disappear with no problem. Dude hardly says anything, he chunks up the duece and disolves into downtown Wilmington. That was like some Kobayashi junk.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/07/04/hotdog.contest/
Later that day this lady rolls up and has a dog too. She orders 2 for herself and 1 for her dog. It was a golden retriever and looked frail as hell. She then commands it to sit. She pays and walks over to the edge of the parking lot. I assume that she went to sit down and feed the dog but after a few customers come by (5 minutes later) she still hasn't given the dog the hotdog. I'm confused then you hear this erupting noise of "Sit down" "You better knock it off" and "What is your problem." In my mind: I don't think he understands you lady. Poor f*cking dog, doesn't have a chance of normalcy or just being a dog with his/her owner being a bitch. I shook my head and I think I went back to reading my book. I should have called animal rights but then I was like he'll probably bite her oneday cuz the dog will turn into a dog...
So the dog thing can be weird but shouldn't be that weird. People are funny but people with dogs are even funnier. Its like some people treat their dogs like humans... Maybe if they take some sngel dust then the dog will talk back. That would trip them out?
"can i borrow a couple of dollars..." Wesley Snipes
Maintain and my advice for the day: "they always looks better after a few drinks."
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