I want my damn penny back!

Well I was in 7-11 the other day and I was getting my usual stuff (slurpee, cigarettes, porn magazines, 8 day old hotdog, sunflower seeds) you know the usual and my total came out to like $7.99. So I had a pocket full of ones and instead of breaking up any of the Jackson family I counted out the Washingtons.

The Dude’s name is we’ll call him “Mustafa, (Not a stereotype), and he counted my dinero, looked over at his boy said something slick to his boy and he chuckled. It was probably about me but no big deal.

Then the little n**** had the nerve to offer me a motherf****ing bag! In my mind: I was like oh hell nah; this mug took my penny and ain’t offer a bag. I wasn’t so mad that he didn’t offer me a bag, I got pockets but hey punk, what’s up with my penny? Now, I know what you’re thinking: Ian, Come on it’s a penny people don’t even use them joints no more. But the principal of this is 7-11 = multi-billion dollar convenience chain and ib=struggling college student who runs the penthouse of his mama’s crib (top floor).

So with a line now formed with a somewhat young crowd and with the coolest voice I could use I ask “Mustafa”, “Can I get that penny?” He looked at me than looked at that damn “Take a penny, leave a penny tray” Bitch was empty so open up your motherf****ing register and get me my damn copper coin. He had a minor look of disgust but I don’t care, if he had given me my damn penny all of this could have been avoided. So he dropped it in my hand and asked the next person up. I smiled and grabbed my junk.

Now a penny to you or anybody else may be nothing but to me it belongs to a family that can make paper. So I carry this penny in my car not to remind me that ib: 1 7-11:0. But to say this: 7-11 may have a new industry started just by that, how many people say keep the change. So I did some math an if 1000 people enter 7-11 every hour across America (low end) and say keep the change of min $.01 everyday for the next 3 years you get $262, 800. They have a CEO’s salary off that alone. I am a bizness man so I didn’t factor in food cost, theft and all that extra stuff but you got rich for taxing my ass with the porn magazine so in the long run: Get yo’ damn penny back!